The story of a lone activist!

I am lonely.

Everything around me , looks like nothing but an empty space. I am cold and tired of looking for someone, or anyone I know. Where did they all disappear all of a sudden?

Just a while ago I was with my peeps. Loads of them.. we were so jam packed that we had to get away from the shelter. The shelter that had provided us with food , place and means of survival up till now. The shelter where i was born , brought up and taught how to live. The shelter where everything around seemed safe and secure.

But now I have to live alone, find another shelter and bring up a family all on my own. It seems impossible. I am not mature enough to do this or everyone thought so, at least.

I was the ultimate rebel among my people. My siblings were perfect. They listened to almost anything my parents would say. But I couldn't! I was born with this amazing brain or something ( That's how my aunt explained my indifference) that I think and act differently unlike everyone out there. 

Okay, before judging me, let me start by explaining the "culture" of my clan.

As I mentioned earlier , the shelter is my home. Our home. We live there, practically use up all their resources and probably damage a lot of its inside machinery systems whose functions are still a mystery to me. But when it's "time", we abandon them. Just like that. According to my parents it's the growing up stage for us where we need to figure out our lives on our own and stuff like that. But I still don't get the abandoning part of it!

Here comes the creepier part. There is this stage in our childhood ,when all of us were trained to attack, only we didn't know for what because all my life , up till now, I've known no enemies or intruders of any kind.Only now, when the "time" had come, they asked us to use it. For breaking down the strong and durable walls of our shelter home that once protected us from the outside world , just so that we could stage our perfect escape!

I couldn't watch it falling apart. It has so many memories that I can never make again , It has so much history that cannot be forgotten. Why would they do this? Why can't we just stay in without destroying anything? Destroy the thing that made us who we are? Why should we separate from and abandon the people I've known all my life? Where has all the compassion gone?

I am sitting and wondering all this, submerged in absolute darkness. And I am pledging to myself this day , that I will prove to be divergent. I will be the change I want to be and I will make a better tomorrow for all.

That very moment , I saw it. My future home. I could almost see it, the future of a differently modified clan where my children and I will become a part of a huge history that everyone would study about, one day.

We might be evolved to be parasites but I sure am going to do it with some dignity!

# Oh yup! People did study about it but only just a few million decades later!! People whom we call now scientists, or microbiologists!

The above is the story of a bacteriophage which mutated to posses a particular "cll" gene which promotes lysogeny. For non-bio people , it is a virus that has evolved so that it makes sure it does not kill the bacterium that the virus lives and reproduces on. 

Well , there are innumerable ways to explain why mutations happens , i just thought the benevolence and the compassion of the virus towards the bacterium could make it an unique hypothesis =P 

Pathetic! I know , but this how i try to make studying a little interesting at least! ;)

How you ask? if you read this now again, you'l completely understand what I am talking about ! 

What am i doing with my life?

The recent "Kolaveri Di" has reached international standards. The fact being that the young music genius behind this was one of the loathsome seniors of my school is all unsaid. 

Last week , I see the newspaper , I spot two of my school-mates being some models for some big shot company. 

Yes. All of us did our schooling together. I was probably treated with much more respect around school than them , but now?

I don't say , just because they're famous now, it makes me any inferior to them . I've always known what I want to do with my life. Since when I didn't even know what a genetic engineer does , I wanted to be one. I wanted to be that research scholar who found out something or did something spectacular. A bit geeky you think? 

Well , then it makes me one.

Worst of all , i thought my ambition was the easiest . get into the engineering college that was decent , study what i love and go to some fancy university abroad and specialize in something i love more. 

Skipping the first stepping stone itself is so hard now. I study some crap , I write even a worse crap and i sit and wonder all the time.

What the heck am i doing with my life?

My friend was so keen in architecture. She talked about her classes and the ridiculous tasks she was asked to do. I laughed along with her. I also thought on how studying that for 5 years was so hard and settling down after that . But , every time i go to her place now , she still laments , on how much work she does and how they don't treat them with proper regard but i can still clearly see that she loves whatever it is she does. 

The world is filled with talents. Be it drawing , or music or sports. I see my people excelling in those , i am psyched , but at the same time , very jealous. Jealous that not only , being home and doing nothing or having a awesome evening with my friends is the fun part of their life. The fun part of life is in every single thing they do , every single thing they say. 

And I want that ! 

I always try to take everything around me in the good sense. Similarly , the jealously is much needed driving force in me to do the right , probably.

Engineering might have screwed me over . But I have my other things still left in me . I've never really thought , a man achieves everything when he is famous . I've always thought he achieves everything when he makes himself happy. 

Here's to making us happy ! 

 

Study holidays , what are they really?

Being part of Anna University , technically sucks , but the only fact that makes all other college jealous is our ridiculously long study holidays !

Yes. If we ignore our semester practicals that happens ad mist the holidays , we get almost a month off.. 

The problematic thing that the others don't get is that  study holidays comes with a tag of its own , it's "studying" time. So going out , or watching TV or staying online all night and morning ; technically my holiday routine doesn't please my parents. 

Okay , Stop judging already , pleasing parents part is sort of an over reaction . I mean when have we ever done anything to please them? but i happened to have some highly intolerable friends who update on what they study and asking me when m studying and worst of all- advising or asking advice! 

I might seem as this tensed girl before exam getting all my last minute doubts covered up , but that doesn't give them the right to judge me as a whatever. 

It takes my best friends understand that part of me because they know i give a crap about exams only the last day ; so, until then its a huge misery to put up with people.

Well, i know all of us do 'the 'l finish so many units in so many days' thing . It's like the spider story , Robert the Bruce one,where he notices the determined actions of the tiny spider to create its meticulous web despite its innumerable failures along the way. We try and try until we want to make the Utopian vision come true one fine day.  

But as mentioned , it is definitely Utopian and it never comes true. 

And parents! they do tend to get a little too disturbed . Even though they've come to a place where they understand that we are in college and how according to them we've magically matured overnight , they still have this tendency in them to give us push or two during this time of the year. I dunno what pleasure they get , 'cause they clearly know their kid never studies. So for the joy of it , we get piles of book and stack them to fool them and they, though they know too well that we didn't bother to study are contented that we at least made an effort to take the books out for their sake. Funny world i say ! 

This study holidays , for me , is getting messed up worst of all. First , the subjects! Which idiot even frames the syllabus for bio-tech pursuing engineering students here? 'Cause i know I'd do better job at it. Chemical engineering subjects clearly as the name suggests are chemical engineering ones! I understand that one needs the basis of it , but not the whole damn package ! 

So basically , we know nothing! We were able pass (or rather ace) the subjects because, one, we knew the whole question paper( with choice) the previous evening and other being that our teachers were distinguished nutjobs that the gibberish in our paper somehow made perfect sense to them ! 

With all this running over my head , some part inside me asks me study . the other side strongly disapproves. Its been days since this internal chaos has begun. So , study holidays . what are they really? A pain in the ass!

and from the fact that i took time to write this piece of nothing and how sluggishly I've been in front of my TV watching a movie after another on a row , and of course watching my favorite shows all over again out of utter joblessness , you now know the clear winner. 

All hail the other side ! 

But the magic lingers forever!

Harry potter.

7 incredulous books , 8 incomparable movies and yet it remains pretty much with the same hype as always!

I was cleaning out my cupboard and found a lot of old things , my journal , slam books , diaries wasted wit  jan entry alone filled , my certi file , my hp file , my hp scrap book and hp picture album! yes yes , u read it right oly , "hp" !
what are they?
hp file : contains all articles on hp , pictures from magazine and interviews of the cast
hp scrap book : best handpicked pictures with generation of harry , hermione , ron from the first movie to the fifth
hp picture album : is d end result of browsing through scholastic book pamphlets and getting fresh copies of hp picture book of the recent movie released!

And why were all these saved up in d closet?
wel yea innocent childhood memories but we still had a job pending , to partition it equally ( sis and me ) , as promised earlier, so when we finally part ways, we get a share of it!

holy madness right?

my best friend raji and i used to go for the same music classes when we were young , and every week , she used 2 bring her "collection" home and we traded pictures!
yes , i still remember being crazy about the pumpkin picture she got from some fancy magazine her dad got from his airways.. remember 3rd movie? they'd be hiding behind pumpkins near hagrid's place with buckbeak in the background!? that one!! she never gave that one in , we settled for a another trio picture and set the deal off !
ha , worst of my collection are those xerox copies of  the front and bk cover of the 1st book to fill in scrap book!

If those weren't just enough to prove my insanity , there were my dreams which gave a better picture of that . An Indian version of dumbledore haunted me with letter of acceptance to hogwarts! ( for the 3rd year because my eligibility for 1st year had long gone :P ) and as soon as am up , i sneaked my way down, towards my postbox to check out if that had actually happened! Well , yea , a girl can dream but not this crazy!

The actual point being , i did wake up to reality one fine morning..
but yet hp never seemed to drift away , I made sure i catch the movies and the book , on d very first day gleaming ridiculously with proud and ecstasy!
It makes me wonder if i chose my friends based on a silly fact that they all loved hp , seemingly true each one of us are a die-hard fan! Every single thing we did , had , wad i call , a "hp twist" to it ,
guess who with characters from hp ,word building with hp characters, name place animal thing with hp , quiz , picture puzzles , pencil box - two way , one side harry , other malfoy , note books , pad , eraser , pen! Gosh!
it was as if everything around us was actually bewitched !!

i mean , if i have to be absolutely honest, we were crazy enough to call ourselves "muggles".

Well , knowing that it had so much effect on me , it makes me wonder if people in london , every time they go to kingscross station , try banging their way through the wall between platform 9 and 10! for one thing , i know , i would absolutely try that even if i were 60 or 70 if i get to go there!

I really don't remember much about the things that happened in the books . there are around a million groups in facebook about hp , and each one of them are die-hards crazier than you or me , and the stuffs they know , its like they mugged it all up without missing a phrase!!!
yes , i am not one of them , i accept i don't know much . . that doesn't make my love towards it any less! given a chance , i'd still read every book a 1000 times and every movie a 1000 more times coz everytime i read it again , it gives me the same fresh feel as it did the first time..
and i know it because , i still hate snape everytime i read the first book , continue to hate him till 4 , feel a little sorry for him but still hating him in 5th , but again filled dreadful anger when he kills Dumbledore in 6th , and evidently fall in love all over him again in 7th!

wanted to end it with something i had written long back, so here it goes,
dear JKR ,
any number of time i read your books, its the same feel i get and i love u for magic you created , not just in your books but in our hearts to see every character as real making us laugh and cry along with them..

fred and george were my favourite , i somehow still find it difficult to forgive you for fred and george's ear! but i am deeply indebted to you , for ever for giving my childhood the experience of a lifetime!!
always yours
hp die-hards.

The most awaited 2012!

It is gonna be an epic year!! I know that already , well damn it , it already has a movie on its name, the so infamous mayan prediction going by this year and the last of the kind for d decade, of the dd-mm-yy (12-12-12) series being d same 2 digit of the number!!

To be honest , the 2012 movie shook me a little! the tectonic quakes or the tsumani are no big surprise here.. with all that in mind. it  makes us wonder , wil the earth reallly colllapse?

Ah but, Screw it! who cares if the world is destroyed? it's like what once i read in some english lesson , wher this small kid says "i am not afraid to die if we are all in this together!"
funny , it suits this situation .
the point being, this is just some random prediction and that we can absolutely do nothing about, where i really don't wish the govt goes about building a secret spaceship which makes nil absolute sense :P

which brings us back to reality!

*Assuming that the world would end at 2012*
wat can we really do?
Nope! m not talkin abt superheroes stunts to miraculous save the world.. but a simple question as wad would we do then?

how many of us have a wish list here?!
the list that goes , "if i knew i just had a day left wad would i do" list! If u don't , make one right way!!
we are not talking about a day anymore , its a YEAR , year with 12 months which is , 365 days , much needn time to make anything at all come true!
Ironically as i write these words , i realise i don't have one myself! phew , so guess here it goes ,

THE LIST

# an extensive trekking trip!
after kallar and mysore which akara offered in psbb , no other trip, be it long family ones or the other trips that followed with friends seemed enough to match the fun that gave.
i never thought i was adventure trip kinda person , but it changed my whole perception and ever since that , all yearned is for yet another feel like that =)

# ah! snow's been a fascination since i dunno when , ice skating , making snow angels or huge snow men is of the things i've died to do!
probably d inspiration is from little looney tunes but duh m still a kid at heart!

# have my own garden , handpicked beautiful plants with lot of amazing lavender flowers in particular! :D

# do something for the world, be it anything as simple as being a part of beach cleanups , planting tress around d city , and join the marathon run atleast once! These are not huge things i know, it might be really silly but its atleast something toward it!

# experience the joys of the night - the midnight beach, stand in d centre of the 100 feet road to watch d city finally at peace!

# oh yea , puppies!! i wanna own atleast one!!!
nevertheless, i just wanna spend most of the time this year wit lots and lots of pups!!!! it's been so many days since i've wanted to go to bluecross but the day i do , m sure i'd be a regular visitor every other week!!

# the last being , to actually experience the so-called "love" ppl hype.. get the guy , fall in love , fly to rome!
( no further explanations on the above :P )

the list is pretty vague but means a lot to me, each and everyone of it!! And all m gna do this wonderfull year is , checklist it , put it up , and atleast try to do each one of them!!
All m thinking is that , every year has been special , something or the other.. or atleast we can never forget our b'day every year! probably knowing that this is the last ever mite make it more special , atleast driving us to do something every day..

for once after like sooo many years, its made me take resolutions, some decent ones that would make me happy , majorly my dad much much more happy!

with all this out there , i really do hope 2012 is happiest that would ever happen!

Oh and yea if the world does survive this year , we have another ( rather pathetic :P) 50 , 60 additional years, to make new lists and make new and fresh memories to carry on forever!!
Wishes everyone a fantabulous new year!!!!! =)